Philosophy
Throughout my own journey, including two decades of working as a therapist in various settings, I have repeatedly observed the natural capacity of humans to transform and heal themselves. Similarly, I have experienced time and again the powerful healing qualities of a strong connection between therapist and client.
Often individuals seek counselling or therapy when they are feeling confused and desperate for answers or solutions to their problems. Whatever the reason, people want to feel heard and validated, as well as to find ways to feel and cope better.
By creating a safe and supportive therapeutic setting, it is my experience that individuals are more likely to take risks, explore difficult areas, and be open to learn and practice more effective ways of relating to themselves and others. I also find that meeting individuals where they are at and using a mutual approach is most comfortable, engaging and beneficial.
Venturing into sensitive areas can trigger strong emotions and body responses that might feel unbearable at times. By gradually and carefully helping clients to dip into these difficult places, it is possible to build their capacities to tolerate and make sense of such unpleasantness; thus, fostering empowerment and healing. Such an approach is facilitated by a curious, open, accepting and compassionate stance.
Approach
Depending on the client’s needs and comfort level, my philosophy and approach integrates aspects of various theories, therapies, and practices, including:
- Mindfulness and Self-compassion
- Interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB)
- Relational Cultural Theories
- Cognitive and Behavioral techniques
- Solution-Focused Brief Therapy
- Motivational approaches
- Change Theory
- Emotion Focused Therapy
- Distress tolerance and self-soothing
- Somatic Experiencing
- Narrative Therapy
- Family Systems Theory
Working with trauma
Trauma refers to an overwhelming experience that may occur as a single incident or through repetition. In more severe cases, traumatized individuals may describe frequent irritability, severe anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, and a sense of loneliness and hopelessness related to the loss of connection with the self (mind and body). Collectively, these symptoms can indicate post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Neuroscience confirms that the autonomic nervous system gets stuck in the basic survival responses of fight, flight, freeze, or collapse. As a result, the mind goes offline such that the individual may be unaware that they are reliving the past traumatic experience in the present. When we repeatedly act on autonomic impulses that are supposed to maintain our safety, it is difficult to feel safe in everyday experiences and our natural healing capacity is inhibited. When left unresolved, suffering may be prolonged or worsened by the lack of awareness and sometimes the tendency to avoid or isolate oneself.
Through a therapeutic process based on attunement and connection, it is possible for a client to begin to re-establish a sense of presence and safety that can gradually help them to tolerate many previously unbearable sensations, images, feelings and thoughts and to gradually make sense of how past traumatic experiences affect their present functioning. In the context of the trusting relationship, clients slowly build the resources and confidence needed to regain and strengthen connections with others in healthier and more nurturing ways.
How mindfulness can help
By definition, mindfulness means paying purposeful attention to one’s moment to moment experience without judgment and with acceptance of what is happening (Dr. Kirsten Neff). Quite commonly, people are not ‘present’ in their lives; consequently, they may overlook many positive things, miss important messages, or get stuck in over-thinking about the past or future. Mindfulness can be practiced formally using meditation or informally as when one intentionally notices and pays attention to what is happening internally (sensations, images, feelings, thoughts) and externally (in their relationships and surroundings) throughout their day. Neuroscience demonstrates that the ongoing practice of mindfulness in one’s daily life changes the brain’s neurobiology in ways that help us think, feel, and behave in ways that are more flexible, adaptable, coherent, energize and stable.
Body-oriented therapy incorporating mindfulness practice helps clients learn practical ways to notice and pay attention to the body’s language and important sensory information. Gradually developing the ability to monitor the body’s sensations on a moment to moment basis can improve self-regulation or the control of one’s emotions, thoughts, and impulses that direct behaviour.
With trauma, a mindfulness approach (usually in conjunction with other research-based best practices) can gradually help individuals make sense of and integrate trauma-related images, feelings, sensations, perceptions and behaviours that may have been intolerable and possibly destructive for long periods of time. Including the body in trauma work means learning to pay attention to all sensory information (what we hear, see, feel, smell) and, in so doing, learning how to tell the difference between real and perceived threats to safety. Such an approach helps the nervous system to readjust from frequently being in a heightened state of alert to a level that promotes a calmer, more peaceful and safer sense of being.
How self-compassion promotes healing and change
Self-compassion refers to the show of kindness, gentleness and understanding toward the self. It can be very helpful when we notice feelings of guilt or shame come up, possibly in response to judging and criticizing ourselves. It resembles the quality of concern and thoughtfulness that we offer close friends or family in times of hardship.
Current research supports the role of self-compassion in the process of change and healing. An effective therapist is attuned to what the client experiences on a moment to moment basis and models the caring, patient, non-judgmental, and accepting qualities that facilitate healing, growth, and change. By resting in the safety of such a stance, a client’s capacity to recognize negative emotions and thoughts can be developed, along with a kinder, gentler, more empathic approach to the self.
For a list of FAQs, please navigate here.